Every college student is at the same point I’m at right now – exasperated, annoyed, and completely fried. It’s that integral part of the semester where finals are every day, project due dates are fast approaching, and going to class on time (or at all) is a must.
So regardless of the fact that I’m completely overwhelmed with school work and regular work (working retail 25 + hours a weekend is mentally and physically exhausting…), I recently started reading the original scroll of Kerouac’s On The Road (courtesy of one of my many Shakespeare & Co. trips downtown). It’s the perfect thing to curl up with at the end of the day and it really incites a sense of adventure. I know it sounds incredibly pretentious but it’s imaginative, insightful, and poetic and truly, that’s really the point of this post.
I’ve compiled selections from all different pieces of literature that I find just as thought-provoking as Kerouac’s words and I hope you enjoy them just as much as I do.
It’s been almost three years since I graduated high school and for the first time, I feel like I’ve changed. I don’t know why but being around my friends and old acquaintances, sharing everything from trivial small talk to stories I’ve been dying to tell them just made me realize how far I’ve gone from that girl who was so unsure of what college would hold just a few short years ago.
There are a lot of things in life that I don’t understand and many of those things, I probably won’t ever understand. I just didn’t think that at 20 years old so many things would still confuse me; and I’m not just talking about things involving other people, but things about myself. I don’t know if it’s that I’m tired or I’m lonely or I’m angry but I can’t deal with everyone’s inability to just address life as it is. What is so complicated about saying exactly what’s on your mind, how you feel, and just being honest? I understand that people get hurt over blunt honesty but sometimes that’s okay. Sometimes it’s okay to hurt someone a little so that you don’t hurt them a lot.
Lately, I’ve been in too many situations where people haven’t been honest with me or themselves and it’s exasperating. I live for jokes and sarcasm and awkward conversation but isn’t there a point when we need to cut that out? All that stuff does is promote overanalyzing and as a chronic over-thinker, I can attest to those kind of things being toxic to a person.
A good friend of mine and I had a chat about this just a few nights ago and we both agreed that it’s emotionally draining when you don’t know where you stand with someone [or something] because the other party can’t vocalize what they’re thinking or feeling. In that same conversation, we also realized that we both laid out our thoughts on the line for people just to get a pin-drop silence in response. If you don’t want to be with someone, just say it. If you don’t want to be friends with someone, say it. If you don’t want to converse with someone, say it. There would be a lot more constructive conversation and happier people in the world if such a trend caught on.
I’m slowly catching on that I’ll never know what I want in life and I don’t expect anyone else to know either but if we’re genuine and we talk to one another, maybe we can work it out together. And who knows? Maybe we won’t be so alone after all.
“Everyone suspects himself of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine: I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known.”
I often disgust myself with my obsession with romantic movies (see here) and tonight was no exception. I watched The Romantics (I know… how apropos!) and if you’re wondering why you’ve never heard of it, it’s because it didn’t get great reviews and was one of those indie flicks they only play in select theaters. Personally, I found the movie to be kind of beautiful and it had quite a few winning moments, like this line:
“Unrequited love is the perfect romantic construct. It allows two cowardly people to act out a fantasy of love without having to face any real consequences.”
If you’re as obsessed with reading Thought Catalog as I am, then you know how accurate and applicable their posts are to the life and times of a struggling twenty-something. Back in April, I had submitted this essay about “How To Have A Twitter” and got turned down on having it published by the HBIC at Thought Catalog – Ryan O’Connell himself…because he’d already written something like it. Seven months later, I’m still depressed and bitter about it so I present to you, anonymous reader, my unpublished work – may it forever be condemned to a cold and lonely life on my silly little blog. #dramatic
Have enough narcissism to think that people give a shit about what you have to say. Have daily adventures that can easily be described in 140 characters. Conveniently forget the days when you didn’t summarize your minute-to-minute activities. Believe everything you do is fabulous until something seemingly inane bothers you and it’s irritating enough to become perfect fodder for your daily “angry tweet.”