Monthly Archives: October 2012

Shaking, Not Breaking

When it comes to natural disasters, New York has fared pretty well over the years. She comes out with minor scrapes and bruises but mostly, she keeps her good looks. Maybe it’s because she’s very urban or maybe it’s because her inhabitants are as strong as well-fed oxen. Whatever the case, it takes a lot to shake her. Today, New York has faced her first real threat in a long time and she goes by the name of Sandy. Dubbed affectionately as “Frankenstorm,” Hurricane Sandy has been tearing up the east coast since earlier today, this October twenty-ninth. While I have no clue of the full damage she has incurred, I hope for everyone’s safety and strength through these next few days. I’ve been fortunate enough to not have had any harm inflicted on me but Sandy has turned my life upside down in a different, not quite bodily way that is scary, enlightening, and informative all at the same time.

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So, Take Me Back To The Start

It’s been a year since I started this thing and to say, “a lot has happened” would be a grand injustice to the adventures I’ve had, the pain I’ve endured, the friends I’ve made, and the overall life I’ve lived these past twelve months. Even thinking back to last year and where I was emotionally/physically is so different than where I’m at now.

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Is This Growing Old?

“When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. 
Everything moved me. A dog following a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calendar that showed the wrong month. I could have cried over it. I did. Where the smoke from a chimney ended. How an overturned bottle rested at the edge of a table. I spent my life learning to feel less. Every day I felt less. Is that growing old? Or is it something worse? You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

You ever look at yourself in the mirror and have one of those really introspective movie-esque moments? You know the ones I mean, where time stops and you’re suddenly no longer looking at your reflection – you’re looking at what you’ve become. Quickly, you realize you’re either really pleased with who you are at the moment or you’re utterly disgusted at your unrecognizable self. Of course there are in-between layers; layers comprised of complacency, apathy, and mild repulsion but regardless of the feeling and where it lies on the scale, that moment of self-realization is always enlightening.

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