Monthly Archives: September 2014

Can We All Stop Drinking And Driving?

I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are a lot of things in this world I will never understand. I know that I will never fully grasp why Nutella is so delicious or why my dog insists on barging into my room at precisely 4am most mornings. However, I have NOT come to terms with why some people in this world seem insistent on drunk driving.

Now, I know there are already many fantastic organizations advocating that drivers should not drive while under the influence of drugs or alcohol so there’s really no need for me to stand on my soapbox and preach. That said, I still feel it necessary to discuss my incredulity after hearing that two major celebrities have been arrested for DUI this week… and it’s only Tuesday. My issue is that the two celebrities in question – Amanda Bynes and Michael Phelps – are no strangers to the media circus. With Bynes having been in and out of rehab and Phelps’ marijuana-gate scandal, you’d have thought that the two would have been wise enough to do anything possible to avoid being the center of attention yet again.

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If I Should Have A Daughter

“I want her to see the world through the underside of a glass bottom boat, to look through a magnifying glass at the galaxies that exist on the pin point of a human mind. Because that’s how my mom taught me. That there’ll be days like this, “There’ll be days like this my momma said” when you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises. When you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you wanna save are the ones standing on your cape. When your boots will fill with rain and you’ll be up to your knees in disappointment and those are the very days you have all the more reason to say “thank you,” ‘cause there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline no matter how many times it’s sent away.

You will put the “wind” in win some lose some, you will put the “star” in starting over and over, and no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life.

And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting I am pretty damn naive but I want her to know that this world is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily but don’t be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it.”

If you do nothing else today, watch this TED Talk with Sarah Kay. She’s incredible.

How Do You Measure A Year?

Well, it’s happened again. It’s been another year since the last life-altering event that made me ponder aloud:  “I wonder where I’ll be a year from now.” That “event” this time being the loss of a job. I can’t even wrap my head around how much has changed. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to process what a year can bring. You’d think after doing it twenty-three times, I wouldn’t be so shell shocked. But, alas, cue the soundtrack of Rent and leave me and my nostalgia be. Here are some things I’ve learned this year:

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1) Having money in the bank is vital. I will never again not have a nest egg or outstanding credit card debt. I recently paid off all my credit cards and it was the most exhilarated I’ve felt in months.

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2) Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I was always someone who felt like I could do things on my own. I never had a problem asking for help on smaller scale things but I came across a lot of things this year that were too big to battle by myself. Whether it’s needing to talk to a doctor or asking a mentor for job advice, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be weak sometimes. It’s okay to fall down and say, “I can’t get up alone.”
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3) Getting your heart ripped out and stepped on has one silver lining: it is a great diet. Getting dumped was a fantastic catalyst for going to the gym and eating better (well, slightly better…). Twenty-two pounds lighter than last year and still workin’.
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4) Throwing yourself into your job is so worth it. I lost my best friend this year and that was easily the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. That said, having an awesome company to spend 40+ hours a week in made things seem not so grim. Yeah, my coworkers don’t understand all my quirks just yet but they’re great people and the more I get to know them, the happier I find myself in the mornings on my way in to the office.
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5) You can only ever trust yourself. This is a big one and I feel like I’m really only writing this out to remind myself because I so frequently forget it. There’s really no certainty in any facet of life and knowing that makes things complicated. I’ve always been an open and honest person and this year has just strengthened my desire to keep being that person. Between jobs and friends and boyfriends, I’ve learned that there’s always something someone’s not telling you and there’s always things going on behind closed doors.
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6) Family is more important than anything else. This needs no explanation.
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7) Love yourself. Now I know what you’re thinking. I know this is one of those clichéd #basic white girl things that’s used in fitness videos and tampon commercials. But after spending a year on a roller coaster of emotions, I can safely say that when all is said and done, you just have you. And if you don’t love who you are, how can you expect someone else to? I lost who I was this year. I was lucky enough to have had a very privileged childhood to early adulthood. This year showed me the only first-hand adversity I’ve ever known. Like a cold bucket of water to the face, I’m finally aware of how harsh life is. So, as trite as it sounds, I’m working on finding me again.
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8) You have to let things go. This is another one I’m writing more as a reminder than as a thing I’ve newly learned. I feel things on a massive scale and I hold on to them because I love being passionate. I’ve learned this year that you can’t let the things you can’t change get to you because they will eat you alive. As the hardest lesson I’ve learned this year, I’m still working on this but, hey, maybe next year I’ll be an expert.

Love In The Time of Manhattan

I love Manhattan at four in the morning, when the night has only the music of taxicabs and town cars. That period of time on the cusp of one day ending and a new one beginning – where the energy in the air is dense and palpable. The streets are dark and the pavements cold while women and children lay asleep, safe in their beds. Drunkards wallow half-conscious on barstools and twenty-somethings frolic in and out of doorways, alleyways, and streets feeling awake and alive and anxious with the possibilities of the evening.

I love being one of those twenty-somethings. especially with you. We meet in a bar but you’re hardly a stranger. An old friend who fell in love with New York a long time ago, just like me. Our hands are almost touching when the night begins – the tension between us, hesitant and awkward. We’re unsure of what’s allowed and what’s not. Our bodies stand rigid and separate. The taste of the chilled sweet liquor in our hands has yet to leave our glasses and melt away on our tongues. Soon that magical hour hits and it’s as if a veil has been lifted. Suddenly, everything’s clearer.

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‘The League,’ Season 6, Episode 1 Recap: Sitting Shiva

It’s time to break out the Three Penis wine and put on your Ed Hardy T-shirt because “The League” is back! If you’ve never seen the show, do yourself a favor and steal someone’s Netflix password so you can binge-watch Seasons 1-5. It’s roughly twenty hours of television and, no, you don’t need to know a damn thing about football or fantasy football.

MOVING ON.

When we left the gang last season, Jenny won Shiva Bowl much to the dismay of Kevin, who took home the title of Sacko Bowl loser. Naturally, coming in dead last has Kevin reeling and we ring in episode one of this season inside his nightmare. In typical “League”-like fashion, an absurd amount of NFL players make cameos: Carlos Hyde, Mike Evans, Ryan Shazier, Stephon Tuitt all appear (to name a few). It seems Kevin’s taking part in the NFL Combine for incoming rookies and is failing miserably at keeping up. Kevin assures Mike Evans that he’s a sleeper who then assures him that “nobody sleeps that deep.” Preach, Mike Evans, preach.

After wetting the bed, Kevin wakes up and the Sacktual abuse continues with Jenny handing out customized calendars complete with a photo of herself holding her trophy to the dudes. Kevin’s bitterness is palpable and I want to hug him while simultaneously high-fiving Jenny because she’s a badass.

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