Monthly Archives: December 2014

5 Weird Things People Find Cute When They’re In Love

Being in love with someone is a really weird thing. It’s not so much the whole caring-with-everything-you-have part of love that makes it weird, but rather the you-can-do-pretty-much-anything-and-get-away-with-it part. Let’s face it: We all know that there’s an invisible switch that gets flipped after you fall head over heels for someone. Suddenly, a lot of the “deal breakers” or “red flags” you’d be quick to run away from become “quirks” and “cute habits” that you find endearing about your one and only.

And why is that? Why are we so apt to make concessions on the things that we’ve told our friends we could never get over? To quote a beloved Youtube video, “Love makes you crazy.”

So, here’s a list of things that aren’t very cute when you’re not feelin’ all lovey-dovey about that special someone just yet:

1. When they snort-laugh.

Love: “HAHAHAHAH. You’re so cute, babe.”

Not in love: “You sound like a barn animal. Stop.”

2. When they get rip-roaring wasted and puke.

Love: “It’s okay, boo, get it all out, I’m here.” *cleans up, tucks into bed*

Not in love: “You just threw up in my beer. Lose my number.” *walks away*

3. When they get a bad haircut.

Love: “It looks great!”

Not in love: “I’m suddenly unsure if I ever liked you at all.”

4. When they tell you something really weird and personal.

Love: “Oh my god, I love bonding with you so much. I feel so close to you right now.”

Not in love: “Oh.” *squirms uncomfortably*

5. When they say something super sarcastic.

Love: *retorts back with something equally sarcastic, exchange high fives*

Not in love: *remain awkwardly silent until you figure out if they were kidding or not*

Good luck everyone, and may you all find weird love ASAP.


This was originally published on The Huffington Post.

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Find Your Beach

This is sheer brilliance from Zadie Smith.


NYC

Across the way from our apartment—on Houston, I guess—there’s a new wall ad. The site is forty feet high, twenty feet wide. It changes once or twice a year. Whatever’s on that wall is my view: I look at it more than the sky or the new World Trade Center, more than the water towers, the passing cabs. It has a subliminal effect. Last semester it was a spot for high-end vodka, and while I wrangled children into their snowsuits, chock-full of domestic resentment, I’d find myself dreaming of cold martinis.

Before that came an ad so high-end I couldn’t tell what it was for. There was no text—or none that I could see—and the visual was of a yellow firebird set upon a background of hellish red. It seemed a gnomic message, deliberately placed to drive a sleepless woman mad. Once, staring at it with a newborn in my arms, I saw another mother, in the tower opposite, holding her baby. It was 4 AM. We stood there at our respective windows, separated by a hundred feet of expensive New York air.

The tower I live in is university accommodation; so is the tower opposite. The idea occurred that it was quite likely that the woman at the window also wrote books for a living, and, like me, was not writing anything right now. Maybe she was considering antidepressants. Maybe she was already on them. It was hard to tell. Certainly she had no way of viewing the ad in question, not without opening her window, jumping, and turning as she fell. I was her view. I was the ad for what she already had.

But that was all some time ago. Now the ad says: Find your beach. The bottle of beer—it’s an ad for beer—is very yellow and the background luxury-holiday-blue. It seems to me uniquely well placed, like a piece of commissioned public art in perfect sympathy with its urban site. The tone is pure Manhattan. Echoes can be found in the personal growth section of the bookstore (“Find your happy”), and in exercise classes (“Find your soul”), and in the therapist’s office (“Find your self”). I find it significant that there exists a more expansive, national version of this ad that runs in magazines, and on television.

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How Did It Get So Late So Soon?

“I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?”


Well, it’s December. And I’m the worst “blogger” alive. I’m probably offending actual bloggers even by putting that in quotes. The past two months have been insanely busy and I’m barely keeping my head above water but it’s sort of in a good way so who cares?! I guess the best way to say, “hello world I’m still alive!” is to give you a brief look at what I’ve been up to the past two months:

  • Got my Halloweekend on for the first time in roughly four years. Yes, there were multiple costumes. Yes, there was a couple costume. No, I didn’t go trick-or-treating. Yes, I got way too intoxicated at 13th Step… as if that last one is a shocker to anyone.
  • Received my “ladyship” at work. Seriously. I own a square-foot somewhere in Scotland and I have a certificate that deems me “Lady Jenna.”
  • Went to the West Coast for the first time EVER. It was gorgeous and perfect and amazing and I want to go back immediately. I drank and ate an absurd amount but it was extremely worth it.
  • I ate my body weight in food on Thanksgiving (clearly eating has been a trend…). My parents made 9 side dishes in addition to the turkey and a ham. I have no regrets.
  • Moved a bunch of my friends into new apartments — one group into the East Village, another into Chinatown/Little Italy. Sooooooo much fun and excitement. I’m still living at home (for now…) but just being able to have all these extra places to crash/play/hangout at is YAYYYYYY-worthy.
  • I GOT INTO NYU WITH A PARTIAL SCHOLARSHIP. So, this one is major because it impacts my life not only right now but for the next 2-3 years. I cried when I found out and my intern basically screamed the news to my office when I got the email. I’ve wanted this for the past 3 years and it’s certainly helped end 2014 on a much better note than initially anticipated.
  • Oh, and I also wrote a lot of random stuff. Check it outttttttt.

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That’s all for now. I’ll make sure I come back before another two months pass… hopefully 🙂