Category Archives: Essays

5 Weird Things People Find Cute When They’re In Love

Being in love with someone is a really weird thing. It’s not so much the whole caring-with-everything-you-have part of love that makes it weird, but rather the you-can-do-pretty-much-anything-and-get-away-with-it part. Let’s face it: We all know that there’s an invisible switch that gets flipped after you fall head over heels for someone. Suddenly, a lot of the “deal breakers” or “red flags” you’d be quick to run away from become “quirks” and “cute habits” that you find endearing about your one and only.

And why is that? Why are we so apt to make concessions on the things that we’ve told our friends we could never get over? To quote a beloved Youtube video, “Love makes you crazy.”

So, here’s a list of things that aren’t very cute when you’re not feelin’ all lovey-dovey about that special someone just yet:

1. When they snort-laugh.

Love: “HAHAHAHAH. You’re so cute, babe.”

Not in love: “You sound like a barn animal. Stop.”

2. When they get rip-roaring wasted and puke.

Love: “It’s okay, boo, get it all out, I’m here.” *cleans up, tucks into bed*

Not in love: “You just threw up in my beer. Lose my number.” *walks away*

3. When they get a bad haircut.

Love: “It looks great!”

Not in love: “I’m suddenly unsure if I ever liked you at all.”

4. When they tell you something really weird and personal.

Love: “Oh my god, I love bonding with you so much. I feel so close to you right now.”

Not in love: “Oh.” *squirms uncomfortably*

5. When they say something super sarcastic.

Love: *retorts back with something equally sarcastic, exchange high fives*

Not in love: *remain awkwardly silent until you figure out if they were kidding or not*

Good luck everyone, and may you all find weird love ASAP.


This was originally published on The Huffington Post.

Can We All Stop Drinking And Driving?

I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are a lot of things in this world I will never understand. I know that I will never fully grasp why Nutella is so delicious or why my dog insists on barging into my room at precisely 4am most mornings. However, I have NOT come to terms with why some people in this world seem insistent on drunk driving.

Now, I know there are already many fantastic organizations advocating that drivers should not drive while under the influence of drugs or alcohol so there’s really no need for me to stand on my soapbox and preach. That said, I still feel it necessary to discuss my incredulity after hearing that two major celebrities have been arrested for DUI this week… and it’s only Tuesday. My issue is that the two celebrities in question – Amanda Bynes and Michael Phelps – are no strangers to the media circus. With Bynes having been in and out of rehab and Phelps’ marijuana-gate scandal, you’d have thought that the two would have been wise enough to do anything possible to avoid being the center of attention yet again.

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How Do You Measure A Year?

Well, it’s happened again. It’s been another year since the last life-altering event that made me ponder aloud:  “I wonder where I’ll be a year from now.” That “event” this time being the loss of a job. I can’t even wrap my head around how much has changed. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to process what a year can bring. You’d think after doing it twenty-three times, I wouldn’t be so shell shocked. But, alas, cue the soundtrack of Rent and leave me and my nostalgia be. Here are some things I’ve learned this year:

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1) Having money in the bank is vital. I will never again not have a nest egg or outstanding credit card debt. I recently paid off all my credit cards and it was the most exhilarated I’ve felt in months.

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2) Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I was always someone who felt like I could do things on my own. I never had a problem asking for help on smaller scale things but I came across a lot of things this year that were too big to battle by myself. Whether it’s needing to talk to a doctor or asking a mentor for job advice, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be weak sometimes. It’s okay to fall down and say, “I can’t get up alone.”
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3) Getting your heart ripped out and stepped on has one silver lining: it is a great diet. Getting dumped was a fantastic catalyst for going to the gym and eating better (well, slightly better…). Twenty-two pounds lighter than last year and still workin’.
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4) Throwing yourself into your job is so worth it. I lost my best friend this year and that was easily the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. That said, having an awesome company to spend 40+ hours a week in made things seem not so grim. Yeah, my coworkers don’t understand all my quirks just yet but they’re great people and the more I get to know them, the happier I find myself in the mornings on my way in to the office.
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5) You can only ever trust yourself. This is a big one and I feel like I’m really only writing this out to remind myself because I so frequently forget it. There’s really no certainty in any facet of life and knowing that makes things complicated. I’ve always been an open and honest person and this year has just strengthened my desire to keep being that person. Between jobs and friends and boyfriends, I’ve learned that there’s always something someone’s not telling you and there’s always things going on behind closed doors.
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6) Family is more important than anything else. This needs no explanation.
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7) Love yourself. Now I know what you’re thinking. I know this is one of those clichéd #basic white girl things that’s used in fitness videos and tampon commercials. But after spending a year on a roller coaster of emotions, I can safely say that when all is said and done, you just have you. And if you don’t love who you are, how can you expect someone else to? I lost who I was this year. I was lucky enough to have had a very privileged childhood to early adulthood. This year showed me the only first-hand adversity I’ve ever known. Like a cold bucket of water to the face, I’m finally aware of how harsh life is. So, as trite as it sounds, I’m working on finding me again.
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8) You have to let things go. This is another one I’m writing more as a reminder than as a thing I’ve newly learned. I feel things on a massive scale and I hold on to them because I love being passionate. I’ve learned this year that you can’t let the things you can’t change get to you because they will eat you alive. As the hardest lesson I’ve learned this year, I’m still working on this but, hey, maybe next year I’ll be an expert.

I Can’t Make You Love Me If You Don’t

You just stopped loving me.

I’ve had my heart broken before, on smaller scales, but none even remotely like this. With this, I had no warning. No “danger ahead!” or neon sign glaring in my brain. Everything was so wonderful. And then it wasn’t.

We started doing long-distance last summer, after over a year of being inseparable. You left for a two-year abroad program with your medical school, and I stayed home. And I waited. The first semester was arduous for both of us. I had lost my job and was feeling extremely vulnerable, unstable. You had just started a new school, in a new country, and were feeling extremely homesick. We adjusted, slowly, to the new norms of our relationship. You were my crutch in those four months and you weren’t even around. You took my venting, my tears and my frustration in stride. I don’t know if I ever said thank you for that. Thank you.

You came back for holiday break in December. I was so excited. Had I had access to a marching band, I’d have probably welcomed you back with one. Instead, I just went to the airport with your mom, sans musical fanfare. You got off the plane, and I remember watching you walk towards us with your suitcase, my only thought being: I’m so happy he’s home. We had a beautiful, activity-packed few weeks. There were holiday parties, dinner extravaganzas, brunches, movies and everything in between. You left and, while it hurt, I couldn’t help thinking that maybe we’d be alright after all. I thought we could keep the magic going.

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Maybe Don’t Kiss Me

“Well, for fuck’s sake, I’m not cool. And I want to fall in love; I might even want to fall in love with you. I have this tremendous capacity to love and I am drowning in it. With the effort it takes for me to remain aloof and unattached, I am quietly, quietly submerged in this innate and overwhelming need to love. But here’s the thing, I can’t “kind of” love you. I can’t fall “a little bit” in love with you. I am going to love you in a way that is going to warm you, in a perpetual sort of way.”