Tag Archives: love

To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This

If you follow no other column within the New York Times, do yourself a favor and check out “Modern Love.” Every week, they deliver a poignant and deeply profound look at love from perspectives that are often vastly different than your own but also intensely relatable. The one from the past week is something everyone should read.


“Most of us think about love as something that happens to us. We fall. We get crushed.

But what I like about this study is how it assumes that love is an action. It assumes that what matters to my partner matters to me because we have at least three things in common, because we have close relationships with our mothers, and because he let me look at him.

I wondered what would come of our interaction. If nothing else, I thought it would make a good story. But I see now that the story isn’t about us; it’s about what it means to bother to know someone, which is really a story about what it means to be known.

It’s true you can’t choose who loves you, although I’ve spent years hoping otherwise, and you can’t create romantic feelings based on convenience alone. Science tells us biology matters; our pheromones and hormones do a lot of work behind the scenes.

But despite all this, I’ve begun to think love is a more pliable thing than we make it out to be. Arthur Aron’s study taught me that it’s possible — simple, even — to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive.”

Read the whole piece here.

5 Weird Things People Find Cute When They’re In Love

Being in love with someone is a really weird thing. It’s not so much the whole caring-with-everything-you-have part of love that makes it weird, but rather the you-can-do-pretty-much-anything-and-get-away-with-it part. Let’s face it: We all know that there’s an invisible switch that gets flipped after you fall head over heels for someone. Suddenly, a lot of the “deal breakers” or “red flags” you’d be quick to run away from become “quirks” and “cute habits” that you find endearing about your one and only.

And why is that? Why are we so apt to make concessions on the things that we’ve told our friends we could never get over? To quote a beloved Youtube video, “Love makes you crazy.”

So, here’s a list of things that aren’t very cute when you’re not feelin’ all lovey-dovey about that special someone just yet:

1. When they snort-laugh.

Love: “HAHAHAHAH. You’re so cute, babe.”

Not in love: “You sound like a barn animal. Stop.”

2. When they get rip-roaring wasted and puke.

Love: “It’s okay, boo, get it all out, I’m here.” *cleans up, tucks into bed*

Not in love: “You just threw up in my beer. Lose my number.” *walks away*

3. When they get a bad haircut.

Love: “It looks great!”

Not in love: “I’m suddenly unsure if I ever liked you at all.”

4. When they tell you something really weird and personal.

Love: “Oh my god, I love bonding with you so much. I feel so close to you right now.”

Not in love: “Oh.” *squirms uncomfortably*

5. When they say something super sarcastic.

Love: *retorts back with something equally sarcastic, exchange high fives*

Not in love: *remain awkwardly silent until you figure out if they were kidding or not*

Good luck everyone, and may you all find weird love ASAP.


This was originally published on The Huffington Post.

Love In The Time of Manhattan

I love Manhattan at four in the morning, when the night has only the music of taxicabs and town cars. That period of time on the cusp of one day ending and a new one beginning – where the energy in the air is dense and palpable. The streets are dark and the pavements cold while women and children lay asleep, safe in their beds. Drunkards wallow half-conscious on barstools and twenty-somethings frolic in and out of doorways, alleyways, and streets feeling awake and alive and anxious with the possibilities of the evening.

I love being one of those twenty-somethings. especially with you. We meet in a bar but you’re hardly a stranger. An old friend who fell in love with New York a long time ago, just like me. Our hands are almost touching when the night begins – the tension between us, hesitant and awkward. We’re unsure of what’s allowed and what’s not. Our bodies stand rigid and separate. The taste of the chilled sweet liquor in our hands has yet to leave our glasses and melt away on our tongues. Soon that magical hour hits and it’s as if a veil has been lifted. Suddenly, everything’s clearer.

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Maybe Don’t Kiss Me

“Well, for fuck’s sake, I’m not cool. And I want to fall in love; I might even want to fall in love with you. I have this tremendous capacity to love and I am drowning in it. With the effort it takes for me to remain aloof and unattached, I am quietly, quietly submerged in this innate and overwhelming need to love. But here’s the thing, I can’t “kind of” love you. I can’t fall “a little bit” in love with you. I am going to love you in a way that is going to warm you, in a perpetual sort of way.”

Sunday.

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