Flashbacks and Futures

I’m not afraid to break your heart. I’m not afraid to break anyone’s heart, really. I’m even fairly certain I’ve already done it before. It wouldn’t be too strange to do it again, I suppose. You’ve already broken my heart once before so why shouldn’t I return the favor? I guess because I know I really don’t want to return the favor. I want to keep you and hold onto you with every fiber of my being because, oh god, I don’t want this to end like it did last time.

I’m not putting any weight on this, whatever this is, this time. I’m not going to hem and haw and berate you with things like labels or titles. A title won’t bring you any closer to me and if it pushes your farther away from me, then I don’t want it anymore anyway. I’m trying not to invest myself or jump in too deep because I know what lies at the bottom of this well and I need to stop praying for a soft water landing. There can’t be expectations but, dear lord, you make me want to make a thousand plans for today, tomorrow, and every day after.

(500) Days of Summertime Sadness

The haunting melodic chimes of each piano key pierce through my heart like shards of glass, falling slowly and beautifully from a window frame.  I cannot feel the twinge of each individual stab. Instead, I feel their rhythm as they collaborate to wound me so superbly. They sometimes overlap just so, causing the minute sanguine feelings I have left to pour out onto the floor with each swift movement of your boney fingers. Your digits glide across the face of ivories like they used to glide across the small of my back. Softly, they move to form shapes, and beautiful music, but the impression your prints leave is palpable enough to make my heart burst, filling the room with the echoes of my cries.